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J’aime beaucoup ce que vous faites
Carole Greep
J’aime beaucoup ce que vous faites
Isabelle Galoisy, David Talbot, Gaëlle Lebert, Dominique Bastien - Photo : Stéphan Kot
Actes du théâtre n° 18.[ imprimer ]
Pierre and Marie are on their way to visit their friends Carole and Charles, who have been living out in the country for six months. On the way they indulge in their favorite pastime, spiteful gossip, and pull no punches in talking about them. But there’s one unfortunate detail: Pierre’s cell phone isn’t locked properly and inadvertently calls their hosts, who hear everything their “so-called” best friends think of them. Shocked and furious, they decide to play around with them before going in for the kill.

“Carole Greep knows unquestionably how to create a dramatic situation. […] Her play works brilliantly. The characters are as hateful as one could wish, and the worst are not necessarily those you suspect.”
Jean-Luc Jeener, Figaro magazine, September 2003

“Carole Greep’s first comedy is an excellent digest of the hypocrisy that punctuates human relationships. It’s a bit like a new Woody Allen genre: everything you always wanted to know about what your friends think of you without ever daring to ask.”
Frédéric Maurice, tatouvu.mag, 15 November–15 January 20

Opened at the Théâtre Mélo d’Amélie, 2 September 2003.

Director: Xavier Letourneur. Sets: Thierry Benoist. Music: Alexis Degay. Cast: Sandrine Molaro or Juliette Galoisy, Morgane Bontemps or Gaëlle Lebert, Dominique Bastien then Loïc Legendre, Benjamin Alazraki or David Talbot.

Characters : 2 women - 2 men -
Éditions Art & Comédie.

CHARLES What about the dwarf? Do you think she’s the murderer?
PIERRE Uh, well, I… yes, it’s her. In my book, it’s got to be her, it’s obvious.
CHARLES What makes you say that?
PIERRE Everything! Everything makes me say it. It’s her, the way you describe her, the hints, everything leads you to believe she’s the one who did everything.
CHARLES But when she runs into the Andalusian grocer at the end, that look they give each other could raise some doubts…
PIERRE Yes, that look… Personally, I didn’t interpret it that way. I think she’s the one. Yes, she’s the one, she’s it. You see, the Andalusian grocer is so… that you don’t think he’s the one! Do you get what I’m saying?
CHARLES But it would be expensive for you to produce because of the last scene with the deus ex-machina, when the dwarf cooks chipolata sausages in the nacelle carried by helicopter over Victoria Falls. That costs money…
PIERRE What power! That scene is so majestic. I’d put everything I have into it. I mean, a barbecue flying over a waterfall in Africa with a female dwarf and a fire poker hanging from the ladder has never been seen on film before! It’s never been done!
CAROLE Yeah, and maybe there’s a good reason. It could be because it’s incredibly bad! And what about that love scene? Charles told me it was supposed to be a hot love scene!
PIERRE I don’t remember that scene very well…
CHARLES You’re joking, right? That’s the most important scene in the script. You know, the Siamese twin sisters with the Andalusian grocer…
PIERRE Oh yeah, right, of course… With the Siamese twin sisters… (He looks at Charles.) So you see there are two bodies. He doesn’t want to upset the one or cuckold the other. The girls are both in love with him. They’re kind of sitting on the fence, those Siamese sisters! It’s awful, but so full of respect at the same time!
CHARLES That worries me because the dwarf isn’t the one who killed him, she didn’t do it. She couldn’t do it, no she couldn’t, quite simply because she doesn’t exist. There is no dwarf in my screenplay, nor is there any Andalusian grocer or nymphomaniac Siamese twins.
PIERRE Hang on, she may not be a dwarf, but she’s little, she’s really tiny, right?